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It's a gloomy sunday afternooon
and I'm rotting to death without you
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2:06 PM,
Feb 9, 2017
I stop writing for the past 4 years, so much have happened. Yet, I have nothing to look back on.
I stop photographing for the past 4 years, so much have happened. Yet it is all a hazy memory.
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Strengths of mine in a relationship:
Sincerity, having a good heart, kind, compassionate, caring, loving, faithful, trusting, optimism, respect, empathy, gratitude
Weaknesses of mine in a relationship:
Ignorance, laziness, selfish, emotional
Things I learn and need to remind myself:
Not to take things/people for granted
You are who you are,
Don't change/forget about yourself for others.
Live life and every relationship/friendship to the fullest, with no regrets
Everyday, show the world your strength and everyday, work on your weaknesses
Don't be extreme, find the balance in life.
Don't waste time overthinking
Be thankful
At the end of the day, follow your heart and let it speak in your actions.
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When in the car, you said that I was a cockroach, a person lacking of sincerity. I was hurt. These qualities are qualities that I embrace in life, being resilience and being sincere.
In retrospect, I can see where you are coming from. I am more worried about losing the relationship that I forget who am I. These qualities I embrace become non-exisitent anymore in this relationship. I always thought, that if I am committed and sincere about the relationship, I should keep holding on, keep hanging your side but it become increasingly wearing down on you. Yet, I still cannot recognize any alternatives.
The truth is, if I am really sincere and care for you, I should end this relationship and let you find your own happiness. If, at the end of the day, I am the person for you, you will come back to me by my side.
And also, the truth is, if I am really sincere and care for you, I should be really listening out to you and make the effort to understand your perspective. Haha, the past few months have been all about me me me huh....I have been too selfish.
And the truth is, if I am really sincere and care for you, I should focus on being a better self and not overthink.
Even though, we have ended our relationship and move on to the next phase of friendship, thank you for.being my boyfriend for the past 2+ years. For now, let me work on being a better person, friend, son, student, colleague.
6:36 PM,
Oct 19, 2013
I feel so naked...without the ring on my finger. Have I already fallen in love for you, or am I just feeling lonely, need some company, a companion. There is a difference, but I am feeling optimistic, I felt rejuvenate when I am with you. Knowing that someone is thinking caring about you and that it is mutual. You asked me, "Will you be the last person I kissed?" I hope so...I hope so...give me a bit more time.
3:04 AM,
Sep 24, 2013
I can't breathe. Why am I expecting so much of people and on myself. Don't we all noe? The greater the expectation...the greater the.fall. we all noe that. Stop being so hard on yourself Darrick...it not good for your body and mind. I can't stop. It an addiction to better yourself...and reach to greater heights. My mind keep working overtime...no timw to stop..but at what cost? It doesn't matter at the end of.he day .it doesn't matter. Take it easy.
7:08 PM,
May 4, 2013
Having a stupid grin on my face. Finally, everything feels so right.
9:47 AM,
Apr 21, 2013
Alex, Alex, Alex, I was so preparing to give up on this friendship. When you told me that you didn't want to meet me up for dinner, it was a big blow to me. It like telling me you don't even want to be friends with me. and after all these while you say you want to noe me better? It makes you sound hypocritical. Cus to be honest, I tot dinner with you is just get to know each other better, our beliefs, values, personalities, past. And maybe, if there is certain issues that we need to bring up, we can do it in your car. I am not stupid. "Something cropped up", like what? Y didn't you provide me with any details? It was then when i know you was lying to me. I was angry. When you called, I was very apprehensive to pick up your call. I scared that my worst fear is confirmed that you didn't even want to be friends with me and I am scared that I wil lose it. But in hindsight, I glad I picked up your call. Firstly, I am glad that you are honest with me. And that you never make any excuses about it. It adds credibility to your character. (TO BE CONTINUED) This is giving me a headache.
2:47 AM,
It's a gloomy sunday afternoon and i am rotting to death without you. Really? Yes. I don't care. I love it. I love it. I don't care. I love it. I love it. I don't care. I love it I LOVE IT. Sidenote: Funny how sometimes, carely rae jepsen songs that lacks depth actually holds alot of truth and heart...
9:24 AM,
Apr 18, 2013
BACK TO BLOGGING. Hahaha, writing to A make me realise how I missed writing. 6 months of wasted opportunities to write 6 months of memories, soon to be forgotten. 6 months of growth, that is not charted 6 months of pain, happiness, sorrow, joy So in chronological order what happened in the 6 months Meeting L Being kissed for the first time Enlisted in the army Getting back my a level result POP Meeting A 6 amazing thing happens within the span of 6 amazing month. Things are just going to get better. |