It's a gloomy sunday afternoon and I'm rotting to death without you.
It's a gloomy sunday afternooon
and I'm rotting to death without you
8:32 AM,
Mar 19, 2012



Woman
We love. We fuck. We marry. We smile. We fight. We frown. We break up. We exist in two different world
Man
We exist in two different world. We break up. We frown. We fight. We smile. We marry. We fuck. We love.
Woman
And I kill someone.
Man.
And I let you get killed
Dog.
And I die
Baby.
And we die. 


3:48 PM,
Mar 2, 2012

Recently, i found myself so close to burnout, as i seem and feeling the warning signs. (Ironically). And unknowingly i have been doing several of the steps to recover and preventing another burnout from happening. Here is a website that i found useful.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm

For the phoenix to rise from the ashes
One must know the pain
To transform the fire to burning desire.


2:58 PM,

To all my students of the SAJC class of 2011,

This is an updated note which I wrote to my students of 2010, but it is still very relevant.

I know now that many of you are having the jitters about the impending doom of the 'A' level results tomorrow. Before you hear (see) me rant on further, let me just remind you that I, just like you, have no idea what your results are like. Don't even bug me. But I want to share with you some things I learned since I took my own 'A' levels.

You may find that you did well for your 'A' levels tomorrow. You may not. Either way, I hope you will accept reality as it is and deal with it maturely. Cry. Tears of joy or tears of sadness, let it all out. It was an enduring two years where you have met friends who will be there for you for life. You may not have done well for the 'A' levels, but being in school, you have gained many other things which will help you through life. If you have done well, you will need to be the pillar of strength for your friends who may not have. They need you. It is not the end. When all the emotions are over, everyone will need to find strength to take the next step. Don't be left behind, drowning in sorrow or joy.  Don't let an examination run your life.

Many of my friends who did not do well the 'A' levels turned out to be the bunch who are most successful in life now. One of them is a millionaire (or to be) running his own business. One is a social worker who was featured in the Straits Times  some years ago doing "the most fulfilling work of her life." Many of them are earning more than me, or are living a happier, more carefree life. Because they had a great attitude and wanted to succeed. 

They never gave up, even after doing badly for the 'A' levels. They all took different paths to success, many of which may be unfamiliar to you. University and higher education might not be your options tomorrow, but neither are they prerequisites of success. Some of these 'failures' worked hard in night school and worked hard to earn their dreams. Others took it upon themselves and built an empire. A few decided that life sucked and lingered in the darkness. Who will you be? 

If you do well, be humble, and remember that a piece of paper is by no means a ticket to success either. Beyond your first university or job offer, no one really cares about it. More doors will open for you compared to others, but remember that stepping into whatever door is your choice. Ask yourself what you want in life, and do something you would probably enjoy. It makes life more fun later down the road. Don't join the Faculty of Medicine, Law or Engineering just because it's cool, it's hip or your parents want you to. Make an informed decision and live with it. From here on, no one is going to babysit you like we did in JC. Enjoy your life in university. Do things you will never have a chance to do, because it might be your ONLY chance to do it. Be open, make more friends, see the world around you. Don't live to regret not doing what you can in university. Keep a good attitude and things will always turn out fine. 

I wish you the best for tomorrow, and I look forward to seeing all of you again. I hope to give everyone of you a big hug no matter how you did, just for coming this far and learning other things in life which are more important that the concepts in Chemistry, Math, Physics, Biology which probably have been forgotten by now.

Nobody is here by chance. Once a Saint, always a Saint. :)

PS> If I tagged you, it's for you to pass it on to your classmates. This message is for all of you.
By Ivan Gn

THis seems so apt to a time i need it. To remind me of how that are more to life/ was coming through an interesting pharse that my friend wrote that how it funny that sometimes the adversity that we experience that we thought was the worst thing that could happened turn out to the best thing that could have happen and it is so true. Is in the process of finding myself. 3 weeks starting from monday. 


2:23 AM,

These days i seem to grow as a person. Where i realise and deal with rejection, and overcoming my insercurities. Realising what i really want to do when i grow up and what i really want to do in uni. Finally wanting to work hard and get good grades. Learning that i can do it.

Btw way, i am not a person who care all about fun and hates work.
Drama is something i like and enjoy, it is a hobby, it is supposed to be fun. NOT WORK. That the difference.
Anyway, working hard does not leads to burn out. Cause burn out orginates from stress. And interestingly, it is not working hard which brings stress when you worry what should i do.

Is having a 3 week break. Feels like school holiday.